Mentor people who are ready (some are not)

Diana Kelley learned a valuable lesson about mentoring people in her student days as the first woman general manager of her college radio station. She saw the potential in a staff member and pushed her to take a bigger job. This young woman was scared about taking the job, fearing she was not up to it. Diana didn’t listen to her protests, believing she could be a great mentor to her and help her get over her fear. 

In hindsight she believes she projected her own motivation in taking on the general manager role. Her newly appointed director did not do well because Diana pushed her to do something she made clear she was not ready for. 

Diana learned that mentors need to stop and give the person they are mentoring some space and understand if they are not ready to be pushed too hard. Having mentored many people, this is something she has had to watch throughout her career. She is careful to listen to them and establish whether they are ready, or to be very open and make the call if they are not ready. 

The key point is they are willing to deal with their doubts and fears as they arise. Sometimes they are scared and just need a push. Both responses are valid, but she is now more careful about which one to encourage. 

This learning of Diana’s is discussed by Brad Johnson, Professor of Leadership, Ethics and Law at the United States Naval Academy, in an interview conducted for the Atlantic series ‘On the Shoulders of Giants’ by B.R.J. O’Donnell. 

In the interview ‘When Mentorship Goes Off Track’, Johnson observes that mentorship is often cast as a positive experience, and the research supports this. People who have strong mentors generally experience more rapid advancement, higher salaries, greater organisational commitment, stronger identity, and higher career satisfaction. However, Johnson says, there are potential pitfalls to mentorship, and these are not as often discussed as its benefits. 

These leadership insights from Diana Kelley are outlined in more detail in the new book, which Dean Phelan and I co-authored – The Gentle Art of Leadership.

The perspectives we gathered from our interviews with 50+ leaders like Diana from around the globe and the original research we drew on, form the basis of the book.

🙋‍♀️ What’s the best mentoring experience you’ve had — either as a mentor or as a mentee? 🙋

Best regards, Brian